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It is agreat thing to have ADHD... that is, until you want to do something but can't seem to stay focused on it long enough.

I am working on a story. Then I stop to draw some of the characters. Then I work on some of the rules of the characters- what skills they have, when they get them, persona... Then I go back and make sure that everything fits like it should. Then I go back and maybe revise a drawing. Then I go work on something completely different. Work on filler stuff. Look at this story, then leave it. Find a new game to play. Obsess over that for the next few days. Go on vacation. Learn about different shareware programs. Start to learn one. Hey look a penny. Try to write, but I don't feel like it. Try to draw but not able to draw what I want related to the story. Try to learn the program again. Get fustrated. Play all the games. Learn again. Find a better tutorial to teach me the program and save it for later. Find something else to do. Next thing I know, months have gone by, and I haven't made much of any progress. And everytime I get ready to put stuff on my computer to edit with PhotoShop, I find myself having to learn it all over again- but everytime, I learn it faster than before. Of course, it didn't help the fact that my old video card took a dump preventing me from using anything that uses physx; and the new card used so much more power, I had to upgrade the power supply as well.

My biggest problem is getting my own house to own. It is a long story, but the sum of it is, I never owed money for anything except my car, so that means I am bad with money according to the credit world- and apparently the fact that none of my utilities ever show on my credit history is part of the problem (A lender was suprised to learn that I have lived on my own for over 6 years because of that).

There is so much I want to do. But I can only do so much at a time; limitations of the body versus the mind. I am fully aware that moving from one task to another wastes time, but I am actually losing to my ADHD. That is one trait I am proud to have. I might have to learn how to better control it myself.

I even tried to put things together so that I may optimize how much I get done, but you would be suprised at how hard it is to learn another language while trying to learn how to create 3D objects. Or how hard it is to write/draw when you listen to something that doesn't help set the mood right for drawing or too attention demanding. Even more suprising at how hard it is to do anything that isn't fun when trying to maintain a long distance relationship- and always go through a odd version of depression for the next two weeks after seeing my girlfriend- it isn't that I am sad, just don't want to do the things I normally do except play fun, simple, but still a bit challenging games or watch anime.

Couple this with the fact that I am starting to wake up to the world. I was already awaken to the good parts, but now I am learning of the bad. Sometimes, I miss ignorance. Why can't there be a government in the world that only cares about the best interest of its people? Even better, why can't everyone in the world just get along? And why can't judges make honest, smart, and fair decisions all the time?

I just need to analize what I want, and find the best path. More not doing what I started...